My first blog post...a monumental occasion. I have created this blog because I sometimes feel lost when it comes to parenting. It is nice to know that other moms struggle like I do. For those mothers who feel like total screw-ups: This one's for you.
For weeks I have been dealing with my 5 year old daughter's growing attitude problem. Her favorite phrase has become "I hate you". Even though I know she doesn't mean it (most of the time), it still cuts me. I have done everything from giving checkmarks to spanking to discourage this behavior. One day I let myself burst into tears hoping it would appeal to her gentler nature. Nothing has discouraged her. Today, I finally had it and yelled back, "I hate you, too!" Was it the best response? No, but I didn't know what else to do. After we had both calmed down I told her I love her very much and that I don't hate her. I explained that I wanted her to know what it feels like to me when she says it. We both cried a little and hugged. Did we make progress? I don't know. Do I feel like a horrid mother? Absolutely. Am I human? Clearly. What do you think of my reaction?
I have told one of my girls that they are welcome to find a new family if they thought they could do better than the one they have. It didn't make anything better that night (and I certainly didn't feel better after I said it. I actually felt worse!). However I don't believe she has said that she hated being in our family since.
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You are a mom, and you are doing great. My mom actually helped us pack when we said we were running away and dared us to call Social Services when we said we wanted to leave. She is testing you and she is upset with all the changes. You might struggle with her now but it will all be ok. Consider this practice for those awful teen years ahead.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. Ha, aren't 5 year olds the best :S. We have an old lady in our house. If my kids (5yo girl & 3yo boy) are acting crazy I tell them that I'm going to take them to the old ladies house, and she's mean. Ya, it doesn't help much but in the moment for some reason I think it might. It sure feels good to know that we're not alone in this world of craziness.
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