Things I Have Learned This Week

1. Lactose intolerance and a milk protein allergy are NOT the same thing. I tried giving Philly Lactaid milk instead of regular milk and he was still sick to his tummy. Tomorrow I am switching to almond milk and we'll see how it goes.

2. My crock pot does NOT have magical powers. I was seriously beginning to believe that I could do no wrong with my beloved crock pot. I had a theory that if I put chicken and Skittles into that thing it would come out glorious. I may still test that theory, but after last night's dinner I know better. I just combined very simple ingredients and followed a recipe and it turned out AWFUL. My daughter told her brother she thought I had put poo into their dinner, and my poor husband finally said, "I can't do it." In retrospect, it was really funny.

3. No amount of yelling and swearing at the TV can get your team to the Championship Series. It's okay Yankees, I still love you.

4. Super Glue really does work in place of stitches. The other night I was sitting at my kitchen table with my sewing machine. The cord was behind me so I had to lift my leg over it when I sat down. This would have been fine, but I was holding my insanely sharp fabric scissors blade DOWN. My foot collided with the tip of the scissors and oh my coconut did it hurt. It hurt to walk on all day today and the wound kept opening back up. Tonight I went through 4 bandaids in 10 minutes and decided to just glue that puppy shut. It worked!

5. If your car door opener isn't working on your car...odds are it is NOT your car.  As I left the convenience store with my swimming pool of diet coke, I couldn't figure out why the car door opener wasn't unlocking my car. I finally decided to see if I had left it unlocked. To my surprise the door opened and I started to get in, until I heard a voice from the backseat yell, "What the hell are you doing??" I realized that this car was way too clean to be mine and apologized quickly. "SorryIhavethesamecar!" I rushed to my car, reassured by the empty Starbucks cups lying on the floor, and got the hell out of there. It was mortifying. Why do there have to be so many silver mini vans in Salt Lake? I swear I'm going to paint that thing hot pink.

So there is what I learned this week. I can only imagine what next week will bring. :)

~Macy